Had finally gotten myself to the grocery store after being bedridden for 3-4 days with a horrible migraine attack.  I was shaky, weak, exhausted and super nauseous after this. Any food I tried to eat during that time did not agree with me ether.  So there I stood on weak legs pretty ready to get out of there. When paying for my chips and coke  I heard behind me “What? Chips and Coke on a Monday?” I replied; I think it be fine, even if I was pretty put out by this comment.

When did it become wrong to buy chips and coke on a Monday? Is this something your only allowed to buy certain days? Has out society gone this far? He continued to talk about exercise, staying fit and going to the gym. I feel Dazed and Confused like the great Led Zeppelin song. I have to say that the person saying these things is usually a very nice guy, talkative and outgoing. I don’t think he even though about what he was saying really. Or maybe he has a bad day or felt insecure. I really don’t know.(Here in Norway you are also supposed to eat candy only on Saturdays.)


I have had migraines since I was 3 years old. After years and years with testing what is best to get you eating again after a long and hard attack. I have found out that salt chips, Ritz crackers the salty kind and coke is the trick. You eat a little a few chips, drink a little over a few hours until the nausea goes away and you tummy is ready for real food. It is years and years behind my shopping that Monday.

I am lucky as  at this point in my life I have pretty good self esteem, I am OK with myself. It comes and goes of course, its not all days I feel just  as awesome when I look in the mirror but most days I am yeah this is OK. But I been thinking about this comment a lot afterwards. Have seen a lot of TV shows lately about youth and have family and friends in that age group too. Adults too for that matter, it is not everybody that has a good self esteem and feel tip top in this “everything needs to be perfect” world it looks like we unfortunately live in now.

Think how devastating a comment like this could be on a teen.  Lots of teen go trough self esteem issues, maybe more now than before. Now everything HAS to be just perfect, something that is not possible on any levels. Nothing is perfect, Nobody’s perfect and we do not live in a perfect world. Nothing goes as planned usually and you don’t learn a thing in life if everything is just perfect. Its the unplanned not so perfect things you learn from mostly. A perfect live must be the most boring life ever, same with a perfect partner. You need something more.

The problem here is if this was said to the wrong person. If this was said to one of the everything must be perfect people, or someone depressed, with a eating disorder, bullied at school, think in their own mind that I am fat or need to lose weight or just had a  delusional disorder about themselves.

The consequences here could be massive and destroy  for someone in years to come, if not forever. Comments like this can burn it self onto your brain, staying there year after year. I had an episode in my teens that did it to me. I was in Denmark, was so happy on holiday. Just bought myself a super cute  shots and tee outfit and new knee high booths that laced up the front. Then a cool group of boys shouted to me in the main street so everybody could hear it “Barrel Tummy“. My life fell apart right there in that street, I just crumbled and the words got burned in my brain. I loved sheet dresses and any kind of form fitted clothes, but did not dear to wear them for a decade. Now I almost only wear that kind of clothes, but it took a long time. I can finally wear what I like without thinking about what others may thing or mean about it. As long as I am happy I don’t care anymore. The most important thing is to feel good about yourself, nobody can do that for you. I find it annoying when people talk like there are age tags on clothes. If there are I have not found a single one. In non of my clothes does it say “can only be worn between the age of 19-25″. Yay for that or I stop buying that brand.

But back to that Monday. The most crazy thing about this whole thing, is when I stood there with my chips and coke I had been on the scale before I left my home. I usually never go on the scale especially after I been having a bad migraine attack like this. I was really sad and upset about my weight standing there as it was far to low, scary low. That is why I replied ” I think it be fine” when he said what he did. That day I was under 105lbs.

I find that extremely  terrifying.

Camilla Renate.


Don’t look at me

Everyday is so wonderful
Then suddenly
It’s hard to breathe
Now and then I get insecure
From all the pain
I’m so ashamed

I am beautiful
No matter what they say
Words can’t bring me down
I am beautiful
In every single way
Yes words can’t bring me down
Oh no
So don’t you bring me down today

To all your friends you’re delirious
So consumed
In all your doom, ooh
Trying hard to fill the emptiness
The pieces gone
Left the puzzle undone
Ain’t that the way it is

You’re beautiful
No matter what they say
Words can’t bring you down
Oh no
You’re beautiful
In every single way
Yes words can’t bring you down
Oh no
So don’t you bring me down today

No matter what we do (no matter what we do)
No matter what we say (no matter what we say)
We’re the song inside the tune (yeah, oh yeah)
Full of beautiful mistakes

And everywhere we go (and everywhere we go)
The sun will always shine (the sun will always, always, shine)
And tomorrow we might awake
On the other side

We’re beautiful
No matter what they say
Yes words won’t bring us down
Oh no
We are beautiful
In every single way
Yes words can’t bring us down
Oh no
So don’t you bring me down today

Oh, oh
Don’t you bring me down today
Don’t you bring me down, ooh


Published by
Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC


  1. You should have told his rude ass off. As you say, his comment could have been very damaging to someone else. I’d probably have added a candy bar to the order and dared him to say something about it :p F- him if he didn’t like it.


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